What Lies Beneath...

Do you remember the old saying, "You are what you eat?" Well, I agree... accept my version is little different. My version goes like this, "You are a product of where you've come from!" In fact, I've even gone so far to say, "If you don't know where I've been, you don't know where I'm coming from." Of course, there are exceptions to every rule to some degree.

I come from a pretty jaded past but myself am not jaded. However, I am still a product of where I've come from. I find it hard to trust, I don't like for people I don't know to touch my skin, I'm extremely protective of those I love and care about... to the point of..... well, I won't go there! Often, I find myself fighting the urge to alter my state of consciousness (to date, a battle I have won---except for a 7 year bout with 'Speed'). I'm very suspisious when people seeming want to do nice things for me for no apparent reason. And trust me, there are a whole host of other quirks that make up 'me'. While on the other hand, I'm quite functional in the midst of a crowd (although it's a position I hate to be in). I'm intellegent and witty... usually the life of the party! I have unbounding compassion for the 'underdog' in any situation. I usually find myself rooting for the crooks in a movie because I'm always asking, "I wonder what's hurting him/her."

Based on the minimum amount of information I've shared, do you think you know who or what I am? You guessed it! I was once a victim, but am now a Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse. Before I go any further though I would like to share a poem I wrote approximately 22 years ago when I wasn't nearly as well adjusted as I am today. Feel free to peer into the 'me' I used to be:

All Downside-Up!

Some say ‘O-O-O you’re sexy

others think, ‘hmm you’re cute’

I’m Smart yet I feel so dumb

Intellectual! But often I feel so stupid

Appear abrasive & calloused

As sensitive than a child

Always– I wear a smile

Inside– aching with a frown

Usually I seem happy

Am consumed with sadness

Have Never I met a stranger except in myself

Wouldn’t hesitate to challenge –ANYONE

posing a threat to someone I love

But who will fight for me?

A foreign land is this world

Yet familiar enough to eek out an existence

My heart cries constantly for the pain of others

So why do I hate myself so?

Laughter permeates my countenance

While loneliness saturates my being

Admired by so many

Yet I trust so few

Crave an end to the madness

Yet I'm right at home in the chaos

Determined I am... Never to resign from life

But I hate waking up every day

Who in the name of God am I?

Why don’t I fit?

Where do I really belong?

When will it all end?

So creatively disguised in my insanity

Who’ll discern that I need help?

Anger & bitterness are my motivations to live & fight

Yet speckled with love & compassion

Tainted by violence & hatred

But never will I do this to another

Often I feel so confused

But deep, deep inside

I am certain that God truly knows my pain & He cares

My search for the profound meaning of my life

will always lead UP

I realize my true identity will Only be found thru knowing Him better –

That space of complete, unadulterated Trust & peace...

That place ........................ where God is!

SyD ©1982

Welcome to the 'World' of a victim/survivor of Sexual Abuse/Assault. If nothing I have penned in my blog helps you to understand why I strive so hard to protect the innocense of children.... this should. Please teach, train and equip your children to be able to avoid sexual predators. Empower them with the Confidence to 'TELL' when a-n-y-o-n-e inappropriately solicits them or makes them feel uncomfortable. Should you desire to read my autobiography, "I Can't Stop Now!", where my childhood experiences are spelled out in detail, you may order a copy at: http://www.empoweryourchild.info/

"A Safe Child Is An Emotionally Healthy Child"

Have A Wonderful Day,

Sarah Davis, Child Advocate & Network Marketer

If U Follow... I Will Lead

Network Marketing Coach - http://www.icoach4success.info/

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Skype: syddzen

Forward Ever... Backward Never!

I Just Sit and Think Sometimes....

Very many times over the course of a day I just sit and think about how many child may be experiencing the pain and trauma of abuse at that very moment. How often do we go about our busy lives... shopping at Wel-Mart, picking up some presumably important item at the Mall, stopping at a gas station to fill up our vehicles or simply staring out the window of our apartments or houses, without ever considering just what is happening in the lives of those we pass everyday.
How many times is the absent-minded error of the person driving in front of you the direct result of a painful mental flashback which in that moment over-took the rational decsion to check their rearview mirror.
We've all seen people in our neighborhoods or along a lonely highway aimlessly wondering the streets dressed in dingy-unpopular clothes, whom we've dubbed as 'crazy'. What in the world could they possibly be thinking? Why would anyone allow themselves to sink so low and become this socially unacceptable individual that gets so many disapproving stares and judgmental comments from passerby? Are they truly crazy... or could it the result of a violation from the past that has left them so boken they Never recovered? Unless we dare to care enough to stop and ask.... we'll never know! One thing we can all be sure of though, this could not have been their deliberate destination... to be shunned, talked about, gawked at with contempt or filled with saddness and lonliness. Maybe the person I'm decribing is someone in your family... or the family member of a friend. Have you ever really taken the time to ask, "Why?" Often these behaviors and symptoms are the symptomatic effects of Child Sexual Abuse... a childhood violated and an adulthood stolen by the selfish, unconcerned, inconsiderate actions of a perpetrator who never stopped to think of the enormity of damage he/she was doing when they chose to fulfill their own lustful intents.
We are all products of our pasts... molded by our experiences, shaped by our world views. Is this what you desire for Your child? I think not! Well, our greatest weapon against Child Sexual Abuse is Prevention. We must take the time to Teach, Train and Equip our children with the confidence and skills to stand up for their Rights to "Shout No-o-o!" They are entitled to an Emotionally Healthy childhood and no one has the right to take that away. Would you allow your child to learn about fire by having them place their hand over a flame? Of course not... then why leave your child's physical, mental and emotional well-being it to chance by not teaching them to avoid sexual predators? While you are waiting for just the right time to engage them in conversation about this very important topic, some sexual predator somewhre is lurking and banking on you NOT taking the time to have prepared them for such a moment as that.
Did you know that the statistics predict that 1 out of every 3 young girls and 1 out of every 5 young boys will be sexual violated before they reach adulthood? Those numbers are Alarming!!! Personally, I believe the numbers are much higher... those stats are only based on those who actually 'TELL'. How many more lives are being silently destroyed right in front of our very eyes and we have no idea what's going on?
PLEASE Take The Time To Teach Your Children... the lives you save will be theirs!

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Skype: syddzen

Forward Ever... Backward Never!

Is Your Child Truly Safe...?

Every parent spends the better part of their day (and nights) trying to insure they have done everything in their power to keep their children safe.... Safe from harmful chemicals around the house, safe from diseases, safe from bullies in the neighborhood, safe from destructive, value-molding television programs, safe from strangers, etc. I can go on and on about all the things that plague our minds during the quiet moments we take to reflect on what's important.

Let me stop and place a mental door stopper right here to ask... "Just how often do you take the time to sit and talk about sexual abuse or sexual predators? Do you even know if your child has ever been approached by a stranger.... or worse, a family member or 'friend' of the family? Are you sure of what your child would do if the situation ever presented itself? Would they tell you?
Would they be too ashamed or scared to talk about it? Would they minimize what has been said or done, only to suppress it? Have you made a deliberate decision to instilled within your child with the confidence to speak up and 'TELL' in the event they were ever inappropriately propositioned?

These are all very important questions you should know the answers to. The statistics are overwhelming and frightening in regard to child sexual abuse. According to the experts, 1 out of every 3-4 young girls and 1 out of every 5-6 young boys will be sexually abused before adulthood.... and these stats are based on those who actually tell. Personally, I think we're moving into an age where 1 out of every 2 children (males and females inclusive) will experience some form of sexual violation before adulthood if we are not vigilant about creating some degree of comfortability discussing such topics. Fewer and fewer mothers and fathers are at home because they are being forced to work multiple jobs and longer hours just to make ends meet. That's why it is imperative for us to equip our children with the ability to feel free and confident enough to have open discussions about what goes on when we're not around.

Just the other day my daughter came home from school and shared about a science lesson she'd had. The teacher was pointing out and naming the various parts of the body and eventually made her way to a discussion about the excess skin on the elbow.... which we know is called the "wenis". Of course, the children got a major kick out of that tidbit of information and they laughed uncontrollably for quite some time. While I don't believe the teacher had any malious intent when sharing that physiological fact, it could be miscontrued as an open door to other more sexually charged discussions either with the teacher or amongst the students. As a survivor of child sexual abuse, that brought out the suspious nature in me and I further questioned my daughter about where that discussion led. By the way, now would be a good time to also note... of the two sexes, by far women out rank the men as sexual perpetrators. In my experiences as a child victim, I can say that many of the incidences of abuse started with very subtle discussions or actions which later opened the door to victimization. This is a very minor example but definitely something to pay attention to.

With this in mind, it is our responsibility as parents to be aware of those kinds of things and not to take any small incident for granted before asking questions of our children. No... I'm not implying that we should make a mountain out of every mole hill or give our children the impression that there is a perpetrator under every rock, however, I am advising all parents to listen carefully to what their children have to say and spend time everyday dialoging with them to find out what's going on in their world.

As a matter of information, I would like to open up a discussion with any parent who feels comfortable enough to share any stories or experiences about which they felt suspious or uncomfortable involving your child(ren) and an adult in authority. Please keep names anonymous and don't share any information that may divulge how you or your child are. As an author who has written a very detailed account of the incidences of abuse in my life, my life has become an open book so if you have read my personal life story and have any questions, feel free to ask them. You can submit your questions in my blog but send a copy of it to my email address where I can later make my phone number available should you desire to talk personally. My email address is icoach4success@yahoo.com.
If you choose to purchase my book just visit my website at http://www.empoweryourchild.info

Have a Fantastic Day,
Sarah Davis

If U Follow... I Will Lead

Network Marketing Coach - www.icoach4success.info
Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/icoach4success
FaceBook - http://www.facebook.com/c.php?code=489781470
Myspace - http://www.myspace.com/sydownandrelax
Skype: syddzen

Forward Ever... Backward Never!